During the freshman year of high school, I picked up a book entitled Dragon Wing, mainly because I like fantasy books, partly because it was recommended to me, and because I read and enjoyed some of the books the author's had done previously. The book was actually the first of seven, entitled "The Death Gate Cycle," and I expected to get nothing from it except a little enjoyment. While reading it, I got deeply involved in the characters lives, and felt emotional about them and the decisions that they made. By the end of the book, I felt that the way I viewed the world has changed, in a way which no other book had. The predicaments that the characters were in were solved in a way which I had never thought about before: by doing nothing. They, although gifted with great power, did not posses the wisdom to solve all the problems. The problems were created because well-intentioned people thought that they had knew how to make the world perfect, and, when they tried to, they nearly destroyed it. The problems weren't solved by trying to undo what the previous people had done, but rather by adapting themselves to the new world, in short, doing as little as possible. I had always believed that there must be some solution to the world's problem, and if we only implemented it we'd fix all the problems in the world. But this story had shown me that maybe there wasn't, and that perhaps the best thing we could do is to do nothing, and wait for the world to get better on its own.
Another feature that I really enjoyed in the book was the villains. Instead of the traditional fantasy villain, the embodiment of evil, the story had two main villains, both opposed to each other more than they were to the protagonists. And they each thought that they knew what was the best for the world, and were willing to destroy anything that got in the way of their plan. Looking back, you could almost view one as a democrat, with the other being a republican, each battling the other, never giving in. However, in the end, both of the villains realized the great harm they were doing. All this led me to a new conclusion, that perhaps much of the evil in the world is formed by people with good intentions, who, when they see that a man has been stabbed, and this is bad, quickly pull out the knife, not realizing that they could be doing more damage. Then, when the patient quickly becomes worse, they say to themselves "imagine how bad it would be if we didn't pull the knife out."
This view has been with me ever since I have read that story, and has done more to shape my view of the world than anything else. Every new thing I read, every new experience I have, I now look at it through the lens of this view. And all the things I believed before, I now looked re-examined, as I did in the period after I sorted out what I thought the book meant. The first major things I applied it to were my religion. One might think that the beliefs that the best things we can often do are nothing, and that well-intentioned people can do harm go against religion. However, for me this new view led me more towards religion. The belief that the best thing one can do is wait, and have faith in nature, or as Christians call it, God, is to me very religious. The combination of my new view of the world and traditional Christian thought have led me to a new philosophy: that one should attempt to make the world better, but not to compromise other peoples rights in doing so.
The next book I read that led me to become more of who I am was the roaring 2000's by Harry S. Dent. The book dealt with the great economic boom of the late eighties and nineties. The basic thesis was that the root cause was due to a population bubble, which the author says was also the cause of the economic booms of the fifties and twenties. One of the other main things that it said was that the government really didn't have much to do with any period of growth or recession. This, combined with my new view of the world, led me to lose faith in government. I look at government and see well-intentioned things which simply don't work. And as a result, I choose the candidate who promises less, usually the republican.
The next book in my life changing experience was entitled "The Mystery of Capital" by Hernando de Soto. The book tried to explain third world poverty. Its thesis was that the inability of third world citizens to convert their labor into capital which can be used to enter the global capital markets prevents them from escaping poverty. In English, it basically said that third world citizens are very industrious: they run business and build homes, but they don't technically own the houses, so they can't use them as collateral, and their business are run extra-legally, so they don't receive protection from the government, and they cannot raise capital through a loan or through selling stock. The solution to this is to cut the red tape involved in creating a business or owning a home, thus allowing them to use the capital markets that we take for granted. The book seemed to compliment my view of the world, how the well-intentioned government sets up regulations, which are supposed to help the people, and yet in reality do more harm than good. Having read the book, I feel that the lack of capital markets accessible to third world citizens contributes to poverty, but I wasn't sure how much. This book probably led pushed me into becoming an economics major: I had a leaning before but that book turned it into more of a desire.
Perhaps the biggest influence my view of the world has on me is how I treat the theories of other people. I believe that no person has all the answers, so when one person says that doing one thing will solve all our problems, I am very skeptical. I often feel that the economic plans presented by certain politicians will work no better than the five-year economic plans of the Soviet Union. I also look at the accepted theories with skepticism, because I see a lot of people looking more at the theoretical side, without bothering to consult the facts. They have their theories, and they have invested so much into their theories that they would rather ignore facts than change their theory. Perhaps the hardest thing about realizing that nobody knows everything is the realization that I myself don't know everything. Neither, for that matter, do the people who I draw my theories from. This knowledge has helped me stay humble, although I will be the first to admit that it doesn't always work.
I probably learned this lesson the hardest on a mission trip I went on with my church youth group. It was my third trip, but it was the first trip for a number of people who went. And I, with my philosophy centered on religion, with my bible thumping, by the rules, holier than thou attitude, couldn't stand it. I saw a bunch of kids who had no respect for anything that I had respect for, who seemed to come along because they simply had nothing better to do. I made it my mission to teach these kids how to act and how to behave. I would put the fear of God in their hearts. Needless to say, I only succeeded in being made fun of. Then one night it hit me: I won't be able to change anybody. I realized that these were the people that God gave me, and that I can't change that. And I also realized that they probably were getting more out of the trip than I thought they were. And, upon realizing this, I let it go. I put my faith in God, and believed that he would influence them more than I could. Because of that, I got more out of the trip than I could have gotten otherwise. And, more than that, it allowed me to get more out of the future trips that I took. Often, in my youth groups, the senior members had a great time on their first trip, and to some extent try to make each additional trip a copy of their first one. When the composition of the group changes dramatically, they often feel that they cannot get the same things out of the current trip they got out of their first one, and they often drift away from the group. This didn't happen with me, probably because I developed the attitude I did on my third mission trip. The fourth and fifth mission trip I went on were much different than the first and second ones, but I think that I was able to get more out of them than I did my first trips, and I will hopefully continue to get more out of them, because I will take them for what they are worth, not how much they resemble a past experience that I've had.
In addition to giving me a new way to look at my youth group experiences, my third mission trip has definitely altered the way I view myself. I've definitely tried to be more humble since the trip, and I've at least partly succeeded. And more than anything else, my humility has given me the opportunity to improve myself, to look at myself critically as much as possible. As a result, I'm able to change my views on things: I can change my theories when they don't agree with the facts. Because I am able to do this, I feel that I can often separate the good things that somebody says from the bad things they say. When I read some works by Ayn Rand, I was able to comprehend the importance of being an individual, and making your own thoughts. However, when one of my friends read it, he thought it was so true that he began to take every word of Rand as holy scripture. He never realized the foolishness he displayed, that one does not attempt to become an individual by imitating a person who was an individual; one becomes an individual by becoming an individual. However, my humility forces me to admit that I am perhaps guilty of paying more attention to an author than the work at times. I probably would not realize it, but I have probably done it at times.
I'm writing this as an eighteen-year-old college freshman, and although I feel that I know a lot, and have a better perspective on the world than a lot of people older than me. However, if I want to be honest with myself, I know that I will change the way I look at the world in the future, that I will add to and refine the views I have now, and that I will, as I learn more, drop some of my views in favor of new ones. If I knew where I would be taken in the next few years I would probably already be there. But I do know that I will learn new things as my life progresses, and I gladly await my next lesson.